I don't know how to have fun.

Being raised with many restrictions in life has made me a dull person.
I wish i was raised restraint-free, free to do what I want,
able to express myself in anyway I wanted but instead,
I lack confidence and I am now restricted to self-mutilation and alcohol to express myself.

I want to be able to enjoy myself without being drunk.

I can only do things that ARE right, not FEEL right.
I want to be able to do things that ARE right and FEEL right.
Stupid Asian/Oriental values have been drilled into me,
not all are bad but sometimes I wish i could just forget my roots
and not be seen as a Korean person but just as ME.
I want to be seen as Hong Chan the person,
not as Hong Chan the Korean...

I envy people who can dance on the dance floor,
I envy people who can sing their heart out without being drunk.
I envy people with the ability to enjoy themselves without a second thought.